Hocus Pocus and All That
My Bad Writer Habits Make Me Look Like a Vampire
By Maureen L. Bonatch
If I wanted to talk about my bad habits I could list the usual things like not exercising enough, cheating on my diet or one of the many others things I’m constantly trying to change or improve—but I won’t bore you with that. Instead I’m going to talk about a few bad habits that non-writers might notice and wish that some writers (looks over shoulder) would realize might creep out non-writer-ly folk.
I have a confession. Most of us writers already know about these bad habits and we’re not going to stop—because we can’t.
When I began actively pursuing writing and obsessively studying the craft something changed in my brain. Almost as if my mind and thoughts were rewired, I began to think and act differently. A few might even suggest some of these odd habits of mine (and some writers) were akin to that of a vampire. That’s without the drinking of blood, of course—unless it’s disguised in a cabernet bottle.
Forgetting to Blink
Once I let my imagination take the wheel, sometimes it forgets to relinquish it to me if it travels down the path of a story. That’s fine…for me. I’m harvesting fresh shiny ideas for my next story, or absorbing my characters comments and actions. It’s not always as fine for anyone else who only observes the staring off into nothing unblinking creepy-deek stare reminiscent of the kid who started chanting about redrum. I’m pretty sure vampires have been known to stare with dead, unblinking eyes.
Losing Track of Time
Like an immortal, sparkly being that can live forever, I’ve been known to sit in front of the keyboard without noting the passage of time. Hours pass without my knowledge as I purge the prose from my thoughts. Although unlike vampires, I do occasionally need nourishment and don’t have the benefit of a resilient back. Plus the hours often appear as if I’ve wasted the day and neglected household tasks that rank higher in priority to the non-writerly folk. Apparently they require sustenance as well.
Lack of Sunlight
Just because I share the same pasty white skin lacking a kiss of sunlight and embrace my solitude doesn’t mean I’m a vampire. I mean using that possibility might come in handy when I’m trying to avoid social gatherings or leaving my writing before the sun has set.
Sinking My Teeth into a Movie Scene
Ever since the writer rewiring, I can no longer watch a movie like a normal person. Therefore, I feel it’s my duty to share my observations with other non-writerly folk who are unfortunate enough to be my friends and family who choose to watch a movie with me. I dissect the scenes with a gnashing of teeth if they don’t develop enough empathy for the main character or neglect to insert red herrings. I shred the murder scene as I announce that the character is definitely T.S.T.L. (too stupid to live).
Awkwardly Trying to Fit in/Promote
Like a vamp forced to leave her castle before sundown, I awkwardly stumble through efforts at promotion by either dumping the details and fleeing as abruptly as a vampire disappears, or choking out the book blurb like a pint of chilled blood.
Do You Share Any Bad Habits of a Creature of the Night?
Originally published on www.MaureenBonatch.com