Friday Fun

Men’s Rules for Women

Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say what you want!
We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

Men’s Rules for Women

Shopping is not a sport. And no, we are never going to think of if that way!

Little Johnny

Teacher: If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven, Sir.

Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Six.

Teacher: Good boy, now you got it! So now if I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven!

Teacher: Where do you get seven from?
Johnny: Because I've already got a cat at home!

 

A Woman's Prayer

I pray for:
Wisdom, To understand a man.
Love, To forgive him and;
Patience, For his moods.
Because if I pray for Strength
I'll just beat him to death.

Friday Fun - Newfoundland Anniversary

Newfoundland Anniversary

 

George was out shopping at the mall when he met his friend Kevin outside the jewellers.

Kevin noticed that George had a small gift-wrapped box in his hand.
“So what've you just picked up, George?” Kevin asks.
“Well, now that you've been asking,” replies George, “it's me and the missus' anniversary tomorrow. And when I asked her this morning what she wanted for our special day she said, Oh, I don't know, dear, just give me something with a lot of diamonds.”
“So what'd you get her?” Kevin asks.
George replied, smiling... “I bought her a deck of cards.”

Friday Fun - Lemon Pickers

Help Wanted: Lemon Pickers Wanted 

A woman from Canada applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job. The foreman frowned and said, “I have to ask you this: Have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?”

“Well, as a matter of fact, I have! I've been divorced three times, owned 3 Plymouths, rooted for the Maple Leafs, and I voted for Harper.”

Friday Fun - Did you see my lipstick?

"No, I have not seen your lipstick! Why would you even ask me that? I'm insulted! Every time something goes missing around here, Everybody blames me!"

Friday Fun - Observations on Growing Older

Observations on Growing Older

Going out is good. Coming home is better!

When people say you look "Great".... they add " for your age!"

When you needed the discount you paid full price. Now you get discounts on everything ... Movies, hotels, flights, but you're too tired to use them.

You forget names ... But it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!!

The 5 pounds you wanted to lose is now 15 and you have a better chance of losing your keys than the 15 pounds.

Your spouse sleeps better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than he does in bed. It's called his " pre-sleep".

Remember when your mother said "wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident"? Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident!

You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch.

When GOOGLE, ipod, email, modem were unheard of, and a mouse was something that made you climb on a table.

Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.

You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've read it.

Notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!

Everybody whispers.

You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet .... 2 of which you will never wear.

Picture This - Issue 13

Issue 13 - Caption Contest
Send us your ‘caption’ for this photo for your chance to win!

WINNER

“It’s true, I tell you. Dasher & Dancer are my cousins!”
- Maureen T. (Massachusetts)
Maureen’s Prize: A copy of Cup of Comfort for Mothers & Daughters, Coconut Cream Pie Fortune Cookie Soap, Coconut Body Shimmer Lotion, and a Cathryn Fox Bookmark.

Honorable Mentions
1. “Is there any question why I suffer with headaches?” - Pamela R. (Regina)
2. “You, you lookin’ at me?” - Courtney S. (Kingston)
3. “Hey you...yes you. Look at my eyes not my antlers when I’m talking to you.” - Julie (Australia)

Issue 12 - 'Picture This' Contest Winners

What a great response we received to our Issue 12 'Caption Contest'!
With so many entries, it was difficult to pick a winner, but we did and here it is:

“A little to the left, down just a bit, a tad to the right...ah, that’s the spot.” - Karen S. in Bridgewater, NS.

Karen's prize is: A copy of Cup of Comfort for Women, Blueberry Fortune Cookie Soap, Lavender Bath Treats, and a Cathryn Fox Bookmark.

We also picked five 'honorable mentions' who all received a consolation prize of a Cathryn Fox Bookmark!

“Just another five minutes, then I’ll flip to the other side.” -Leslie P. from Boston, MA

"Billy! It's time for supper!" "Just 5 more minutes mom, the ice is awesome!" "Now Billy!" "But mom! It's all cold and stuff!" "Now Billy, your fish is getting colder than it already is!" "Awwww" - Ashley C. (blog entry)

“Arrive early and get the best spot.” - Anne D. from Calgary, AB

“Who needs snow, I can make Ice Angels.” - Kelly H. from Moncton, NB

“Did anyone else here that cracking noise?” - Pat L. from Indiana.

If you are one of our winners, please contact us for your prize.
Please note, prizes not claimed by April 30, 2010 are placed back into our prize basket.

Disclaimer: The last names of our winners have been ommited due to Still Moments Magazine's privacy rules.