Hocus Pocus and All That
By Maureen L. Bonatch
Perks Of Being A Villain
What’s so good about being bad? Check out how these unsavory traits transform into the perks of being a villain.
• A bad hair day is every day
Hop out of bed, and out the door because that’s just the way villains roll. Wild and unruly locks accompany the villain job description. If the good guy has that long tendril of hair obscuring one of his eyes, the heroine is suspicious of him until he proves he’s not the villain in disguise.
• But when you look good, you look really good
Who needs charm, daily shaving, or pressed clothes when you’re the bad boy? It’s hard to resist the temptation to partake in what you offer…the forbidden. A wink of an eye, or a seductive whisper and you’ve got it in the bag.
• Inappropriate responses are expected
You say what everyone else is thinking but are too polite to say aloud. No waiting until you’re old to lose your filter. No woman will ever ask you, “Do these pants make my butt look big?” They know what you’re going to say, and it’s not going to be nice...because nice guys finish last.
• Permission to be in a bad mood all the time, in fact, it’s encouraged!
No one asks you why you’re in a bad mood, it’s expected because that’s part of the villain’s personality. Forget the fake, plastered smile and let it all hang out. You wear a smirk like your favorite fashion accessory. Because if you’re nice...well, see below.
• Being nice just makes people suspicious
Even if you’re having a good day and try to be nice to someone, no one believes you. It’s out of character. They think you’re up to something, or you have an ulterior motive. It’s not even worth being nice unless you’re utilizing this tactic to alleviate boredom by watching them squirm.
• Females have the advantage
They’ll never see you coming. It’s not natural for a woman to be nasty, so this is your chance to release your inner diva. You might even be able disguise downright rude and nastiness by using the excuse of it being your time of the month, or menopause. If you’re in a group of men throw out vague terminology about female issues and watch them flee.
• Fluent in sarcasm
You might not be the smartest when it comes to outwitting the hero until the end, unless you challenge him to a battle of wits and sarcastic remarks. It’s why we love you despite your being so darn despicable.
• You usually get the good lines
Sure, you might die in the end, but your one-liners live on forever. Here are a few you might recognize. Why not share a few of your favorites?
o “I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.”
o “Here’s Johnny!”
o “Mr. Anderson.”
o “Ever Danced with the Devil by the Pale Moonlight?”
o “If he dies. He dies.”
~Post originally featured on www.maureenbonatch.com
© 2021 Maureen L. Bonatch All Rights Reserved
Maureen Bonatch grew up in small town Pennsylvania and her love of the four seasons—hockey, biking, sweat pants and hibernation—keeps her there. While immersed in writing or reading paranormal romance and fantasy, she survives on caffeine, wine, music, and laughter. A feisty Shih Tzu keeps her in line. http://www.maureenbonatch.com/
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